Breaking News - Overheated Farm Woman gets takeaway dinners for silage contractors.
That was the headline I put up on an image yesterday on Instagram and Facebook and to date, it has got over 140,000 views. I'm now wondering what might have happened if I'd put it on Tiktok.
I did explain in the caption that it was boiling hot, I'd spent almost four hours in full sun at the crush for a TB test, I was overheated and the food was roast dinners from the local restaurant, but no matter, the commentators were out, and yes, I was amused.
Ten years ago, I published my second non fiction book How to be a Perfect Farm Wife. Its intention was to show what was expected of farm wives, and yes, the number of expectations meant it was impossible to achieve all of them and hence perfection was unlikely to happen. It also shared general tips on how to settle into farm life and indeed, how to cheat occasionally. It was designed to be humourous yet helpful. Indeed, to help women new to farming to take it all with a pinch of salt with section headings such as 'how to wear wellies and an apron with flair'.
In 2026, things have not changed. While my post on feeding contractors received a lot of comments agreeing that life was too short to slave over a hot stove on the hottest day of the year so far, it also got quite a lot of hilarious comments and a few judgemental ones. Yes, I was amused but am writing this post because I don't want other farm women to feel that they are supposed to cook three course healthy meals for contractors.
- "Could she not have given them a salad?" My response - do you know how fussy some contractors are? If they struggle to eat carrots, they aren't going to eat coleslaw. Plus, a salad will only sustain them for an hour.
- Lots assumed the takeaway was burgers and chips. Now, there's nothing wrong with burgers and chips. Indeed, if truth be known, contractors prefer them. During covid, when we gave them dinners in the haybarn, I did burgers and hotdogs and sausages for convenience and was told they prefer them. But I ordered dinners from the Lime Tree in Castlecomer (a fab little restaurant / cafe if you're ever passing through and do treat yourself to their sticky toffee pudding as it's the best you'll ever taste) and got them a choice of roast beef or bacon dinners complete with mash, roast potatoes, mixed veg and gravy / white sauce. Nothing nicer. According to some commentators, one shalt not give contractors burgers and chips because they sit on big machinery all day and might die of heart attacks. Reader, I can assure you that the conditions of contractors' arteries are the least of my concerns because they are adults and it is their own responsibility to look after their own bodies. But they were fed wholesome hearty dinners - let that be known!!
- There appears to be regional differences whether farm families feed contractors or not. Indeed, some are of the opinion that the majority of workers bring their own lunch to work, why can't contractors? Others see that attitude as being mean or lazy or even embarrassing because they wouldn't want the neighbours knowing that they hadn't fed the men. Me? Well, a silage day is a long day and I do think they need a proper meal at some stage. Whether that's the responsibility of the farm wife is another matter. I do cook for them (except when hyperventilating from the heat) but I don't enjoy cooking. I'm more of the 'bung a casserole into the oven and see how it turns out' type of farm woman and if it's nice, well and good, and if it isn't, well, hunger is a good sauce. If the men are here working shorter days, they all know that we have dinner late compared to most farmers ie 3 or 4 pm, just before we milk, and as I'll either be working in the yard or writing in the evening, they need to eat a good dinner because it has to sustain them till they finish work and get home. I will not be cooking again.
- Some commentators are staunch advocates for a dinner including a dessert. I was reared on dinners like that. In the days when silage could take up to a week, my mum cooked dinners, teas and suppers all week. I wouldn't have been able to stay sane if I had to cook that many meals for that many men. As it happens, I did make brownies and served them with icecream yesterday. But generally, if I've cooked a dinner, a homemade dessert as well isn't going to happen. My mum, bless her, between a mixture of believing me too busy to bake and feeling the contractors should have a dessert, often made a cream Victoria sponge for them, and I would tell them that my mother cared about them.
But ultimately, dear Reader, farm life can be tough enough without heaping criticism on others because they bought takeaways / fed them chips / fed them salads / didn't feed them. I follow the Northern Irish wife of a contractor on Instagram and it seems that many of the wives have a rota to cook all the contractors dinners and bring the meals to wherever they are working. Therefore, I can only assume that it's rare up there for farm families to feed contractors. Incidentally, when I was collecting the dinners, the owner said that he'd only put the phone down to me and someone else rang, they wanted six dinners for silage men.
Some women go over and beyond. I recently heard of contractors being served a roast dinner at 4.30 am because they had stayed working as rain was forecast. I'm afraid they would have had to save the lives of my nearest and dearest for me to face cooking in the middle of the night let alone a roast dinner. I might manage a fry up at 1am but that would be my limit even with the aid of HRT!
So, my consensus is - no matter what you do, people will have an opinion. But you're not to care. I'm firmly of the opinion that to be a good farmer and writer, it's important I don't worry about what other people think because if I was to do so, I would never experiment with anything new. Do what suits your system and please don't worry about what others say. Life is way too short.
I don't know if it's true or not but apparently some contractors give the dinners a grade. I reckon I'm often about minus 100, the hunger just wasn't a good enough sauce although my breakfasts and suppers (good old fry ups) do get praise.
Stay safe and stay sane and all the best for a successful silage season. And remember, take life with a liberal pinch of salt.
Lorna x